In our scripture readings for Elijah and Elisha Sunday, Elijah has had enough of dealing with King Ahab, the Baal worshipper, and his psychotic sidekick, Queen Jezebel. The future looks hopeless for God's people, and there is nothing left for a prophet to do. Elijah flees to the wilderness, and humbly requests God's permission to die there. But God is not done with Elijah, and like the saints of old, God gives Elijah exactly what he needs, to get back into the arena....
Have you ever felt....tired? Don't fib, I can see the yawns from up here, you know! No, I mean, tired down in your soul. In the trenches of World War One, the Canadian Expeditionary Force was tired. They were tired of the need for gas masks against the enemy's chlorine attacks. They were tired of the constant sound of death in the form of bullets and artillery shells flying overhead. They were tired of the anxiety of not knowing when it would be their turn to leap out of the trench and try to cross no-man's-land, a less than promising future. They were SO tired that a number of them were willing to inflict an injury on themselves, even in the face of harsh punishments. Most of these self-inflicted injuries were gunshot wounds to the feet and legs. And the number of reported cases was NOT a dozen or two. 729 soldiers in the Canadian Expeditionary Force were tired enough to hurt themselves, just to get out of the trenches....
As prophet to the worst king and queen in Israel's history, Elijah had spent his whole career in the trenches. He had fought the uphill battle AGAINST the growing influence of Baal and Ashtoreth in his society, spurred on by royal enthusiasm. He had felt the ruthlessness of Jezebel's threats, and knew that the people would not have his back, as they were terrified of crossing her. While he relied on the protection of God, he also reminded God that he was the last man standing from his regiment – he alone was left as prophet of the Lord. And after a brilliant victory over the prophets of Baal, Elijah knew that Jezebel would never relent.
So Elijah ran away. He went south through the territory of Judah into the Wilderness of Zin. And under a solitary broom tree, Elijah confessed to God that he was tired. Tired of fearing for his life. Tired of ramming his head against the brick wall of the powerful. Tired of watching his country go to pot. Elijah was SO tired, he didn't just want a rest while recovering from a bullet wound, he wanted God to take him out of the trenches permanently. He was no better as a prophet than his ancestors, who created the phenomenon of Ahab and Jezebel, what's the point of soldiering on?
If you are [listening to this] [here] today and you are tired down in your soul, which battle are you fighting? Is it the battle against your own body that is now failing? Is it the battle against regulations and economic trends? Is it the battle against toxic family dynamics? Is it the battle against addiction? Or is it a media-generated hopelessness that won't affect you personally, and might not be real in the first place. Don't let Satan pin you down in a trench that doesn't exist!
And while we all might look upon the saints who have already finished their races with a bit of envy, especially in these strange times, if you have a PLAN to join the saints in heaven, please ask for help! I am not formally trained in suicide prevention, but those resources are available here, and we can find them together. Like Elijah, we can ask GOD to take away our lives, if we are that incredibly tired, but the final decision is always his.