In our Gospel reading for today, the Pharisees come to Jesus looking to start an argument. They want Jesus to weigh in on a debate that was raging among the rabbis, “under what circumstances can a Jewish husband dismiss his wife.” The Pharisees were testing Jesus to see what he would let them get away with, to see what were God's minimum requirements. But Jesus responds to this hard-hearted approach with more than just commandments; he shows them God's glorious INTENTION for marriage. And then, Jesus shows the Pharisees God's glorious intention for THEM, by lifting up some little people whose hearts were a little bit softer....
You see them everywhere. The board says, if you want credit for this course, you have to get at least 50% on the provincial exam. The contract says, if you want to earn your entire salary, you have to be at work at least 37.5 hours each week. The church constitution says, if you want to be considered a member in good standing, you have to receive Holy Communion with us at least once in the year. These are the “minimum requirements”, the rules we have made to make sure things seem fair, that outline for us, the least we could do.
The Pharisees were masters of setting minimum requirements. They knew exactly how much the tithe needed to be, how far you can travel on the Sabbath, how clean your hands must be before eating. And now, in our gospel reading, the Pharisees were looking to trap Jesus into taking a position on a controversial question, “what is the least amount a husband has to put up with.” Would Jesus side with the liberal rabbi Hillel, who said that a husband could dismiss his wife for practically any reason? Or would Jesus side with the conservative rabbi Shammai, and allow lawful dismissal only in the case of significant scandal. Where would Jesus place the minimum requirement, and more importantly to the Pharisees, who would then turn away from Jesus in disgust because he did so?
Jesus, of course, didn't fall for it. Instead of declaring what is God's minimum requirement for marriage, Jesus told the Pharisees what is God's INTENTION for marriage. Two shall become one flesh. And when the disciples press Jesus later as to what that really means, Jesus gives it to them straight. A spouse who unilaterally dismisses their spouse and takes another, causes the same damage as if they had committed adultery. And God is just as unhappy about that damage as the damage of adultery. There is no minimum requirement for God to call the dismissal of a spouse, lawful. And it is a sign of the hardness of their hearts, that the Pharisees would look for a minimum.
Why do we look for the minimum in so much of what we do? Because OUR hearts have been hardened, too. Much of what we do in life is NOT in the context of loving relationship, but is in the context of fair exchange – I will do this for you, and you will do that for me. I will get 50% on the exam, and then you will give me credit for the course. I will work the 37.5 hours, and then you will pay me the salary. Whatever we have agreed to, I will shoot for my minimum, and you will shoot for your minimum, and we'll call it fair. Hard-hearted, perhaps, but fair.
Sometimes marriages can get to this point – hard-hearted but fair. I will provide bread for the table, and then you will look after the household. I will be faithful in body to you, and then you will be faithful in body to me. But when one spouse fails to achieve the minimum, it's no longer a fair exchange, and the deal falls apart. One spouse gets dismissed.
The same hard-heartedness can easily creep into our relationship with God. I will do whatever minimum God expects of me, and then he will grudgingly let me go to heaven. I will pray a certain minimum number of times, and then God will answer my prayers to my satisfaction. But just like with marriage, God's INTENTION for our relationship HAS no minimum. It says later on in Mark chapter 12, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” That is God's intention for our relationship – total love. To talk about God even HAVING a minimum requirement for us shows that our hearts are already hardened – that we see our relationship with God NOT as a loving one, but as one based on exchange. And to put it bluntly, what on earth can we sinners offer to God in heaven in exchange for anything? If our relationship with God is hard but fair, we can EXPECT a certificate of dismissal from him. That's what's fair.